Where emotions lie within..


I speak the truth, not the hidden.





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    Sunday, December 13, 2009



    HOMESICK.


    난 내 가족을 정말 보고 싶습니다!!! ㄱㄱㄱ...

    지금 집에 가고 싶습니다.



    2:40:00 AM

    Saturday, December 12, 2009

    My heart is beating at this craziest rhythm.
    "Bombom Bombombombom...," I gather that my Sinoatrial node is not working properly.

    No, it's really palpitating.

    Oh Jesus, I've to wake up uber early tomorrow to go to Nottingham.
    I could have just gone back to Singapore on Wednesday and quit being so homesick you know.
    But no, I decided that this was even more important and that I have to go for Med-link at the University of Nottingham.
    My grudge? The one more week extension of stay in this lonely place where all of my friends have flown home and I'm left here all, alone.
    :((

    It seems like I've been watching to many depressing dramas these days uh?
    And I've this things for "UH" now.
    Like what the heck?
    Am I going through some kind of transition or what?

    No, I'm not turning into a vampire.

    Oh wait, did anyone catch what I've been murmuring about?
    What exactly is wrong with me these days...

    Hella, I should be writing something even more substantial.


    8:16:00 PM


    I would write...

    Dear Diary,
    Today I convinced myself it was OK to give up.
    Don't take risks.
    Stick with the status quo.
    No drama. Now is just not the time.
    But my reasons aren't reasons. They're excuses.
    All I'm doing is hiding from the truth.
    And the truth is that...
    I'm scared.
    I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment that...
    The world's just going to come crashing down.
    And...
    I don't know if I can survive that.


    Do you want to know what I would write?
    I met a girl.
    We talked.
    It was epic.
    But then the sun came up and reality set in.
    Well, this is reality.
    Right here.



    12:26:00 AM

    Friday, December 11, 2009


    All you can do is to be ready for the Good.
    So when it comes, you invite it in, because you need it.
    I need it.


    8:25:00 AM

    Wednesday, December 09, 2009

    I FEEL LIKE A MARSHMALLOW RIGHT NOW.
    HAHA I'M FREEEEEE! YIPPPEEE!
    Okay, that analogy is very awkward,
    maybe I should say I feel like a feather, or some cloud??? or some pollen grains?

    Oh wait, what the heck, pollen grains?!
    LOL
    Look, I'm so frigging high now that I'm sprouting nonsense, speaking gibberish.
    Can you sense my ecstasy?
    OMGeee, this is getting even weirder right?
    What exactly am I typing about?

    HAHA ANWAY,
    I've finished all my exams finallly.
    So what's left undone, is simply just to pon school till friday!

    Alright.

    6:29:00 PM

    Tuesday, December 08, 2009

    Told You So

    I've so much to say.
    But just so little would come out.

    1:21:00 AM

    Saturday, November 28, 2009

    A Living Fairytale 

    - Tracer


    As soon as the door opened, I greeted her at the top of my voice while I scanned through the place, trying to search for the figure I once felt so familiar with. And then, I was invited into the house.

     

    As I entered, I realised that the house looked the same. The scene right in front of me matched the image of my childhood memory which was projected out in my mind. The humble-looking place was embellished with the same old furniture as it did in the past. The house was not big, neither was it too small too. The living room had a few sofas, a coffee table and a display table on which a television was placed at the middle. Yes, the furniture was adequate for the two people who were the only ones living in the house.

     

    I spotted the pinkish-grey sofas. They were slightly different now. The holes which were peeking through the cotton coverings caught my eyes, a sign of how old they were. I remembered the times when I came here during my younger days. Then, the sofas were bright pink, a colour I was once fond of. I was always fascinated about them. An endless shower of warmth seemed to be always emitting from the bright pink cotton threads whenever I looked at them. The wooden frame too, emitted a mesmerizing aroma. The smell felt so fresh, so unreal. It was so captivating that I even imagine myself in the Amazon. Cliché as it might sound, but true enough, you really have to be there to actually feel the unbelievable sweetness the house was giving me generously. I was happy to be there. All the troubles I had in my head seemed to have vanished into thin air at that very instance. Some have said that my affection towards the house was beyond ordinary. With that, I laughed it all off. The level of attachment which had been derived throughout the years was simply beyond words. Here, I present to you my last memory of this very house.


    I made a pact with myself. I promised to return. I did. And here it was. I stood facing the living room, with an indescribable feeling washed all over me. Shabby as it might seemed to outsiders, but the beauty of it is forever ever-lasting to me, as they always say, “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” Distinctly and evidently, the bright colours of the furniture had long faded away and gave way to the years of imperfection. Already in her sleeping attire, a matching pink blouse and longs pants of a lighter pink, she stood there, beside the decades-old sofas, welcoming me with opened arms. The contrast was not very large, for She too was a living example of how merciless the years could get. The once delicate face of hers had long given way to the wrinkles. The last time I saw her, the wrinkles were not as prominent as they seemed to be now. I let out a sigh. Then suddenly, I sensed an impatient grip as She brought me to the sofas. I realised how long I had not been here. The level of enthusiasm She showed was quite appalling for me actually because I thought She must have forgotten all about me. Apparently, it was not the case. I was not forgotten. I never had been, the domestic helper beside reminded me as she passed me a packet of green tea.


    I took a sip of the tea and then finally began our conversation. 


    Saturday, 11 July 2009


    2:26:00 AM

    Thursday, November 26, 2009

    a night with NEW MOON
    So tonight, I went on a date with Ka (again!) 
    New Moon is so much better than Twilight cos it stuck to the book even more.
    My eyes were glued to Robert Pattinson as usual.
    Haha Taylor Lautner's not bad too + Bella's Asian guy friend and a couple of werewolves.
    But I still find the movie very dramatic, still. -With all those misty kind of scenes with random dramatic music!

    HAHA Has anyone else watched New Moon too?

    6:11:00 AM

    Wednesday, November 25, 2009

    IN UK, HOLIDAY-ING


    O.M.GEE

    Guess what?
    I've never been so excited before! -To actually just get back home and have a nice 12 hours of sleep.
    And when I type "home", I really mean "home".
    Singapore.
    I'm really looking forward to just get back to Singapore and lie down on my bed, cuddle up, hug my bolster and BOBO and sleep through the night.
    Oh, the warmth and comfort!
    Loathe the weather though...

    So, I'm more than excited to get back than you are.
    I'm also so excited to go to Nottingham University for the Med-link event before I come back.
    Every time when I think of that, I would feel sad cos' it has sucked up 1 week of my 4 weeks holiday, but then... You get to travel AGAIN, and meet great people who will be future doctors there.
    So yea...

    Speaking of which, I think after I've came here, I get much more excited about the holidays than back in Singapore.
    It's because we'll be planning ahead of where we want/wish/hope to visit/go for the next upcoming holidays.
    Eg. in feb and during easter break in march.
    I'm think of Venice in feb, and ski trip to Switzerland in march + short Seoul/Taiwan/Japan trip.
    I want to go to Manchester soon too!
    ROME AND ITALY IS A MUST. Wait, are they the same? And I think Venice is in Rome? Geez~
    But anyway, all we think about is to travel here and there.
    But then again, these are all plans.

    Plans do change. Plans do be plans which do not happen afterall.
    And lastly, $_$

    SO YUPP, but I'm still very excited too.

    I noticed I pop by my blog once in a while and type randomly awkward stuff in here... HAHA.

    4:42:00 AM

    Saturday, November 21, 2009


    belindaong

    That's you!
    1. -.-" LOL I LOVE MY FAMILY! <3
    2. Me: EH MUMMY U ALSO KNOW AR! Mum: yah la, mummy also watching mah! duno got what hello my sweetheart,..Eh got what other nice ones?
    3. Mum: aiyo watching videos ar! watch watch watch ar, now got so many nice videos right, taiwan, etc..duno what YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, etc...
    4. Mum: you tomorrow, mon n tues dont call mummy ar! better go study hard for ur tests. then what are you doing now? Me: watching videos!
    5. Dad: aiyo u stop eating luh. eat eat eat. u see, what are u eating again. ur mouth cannot stop moving one ar!
    6. lol my bro came in show off his muscles! LOL n my dad said he would wear the shirt i gave him to bangkok! XD
    7. eating potato chips n skyping with family! XD <33333

    8:04:00 PM

    Monday, November 16, 2009

    ME&I
    I guess I really haven't been blogging my life out right?
    I've been so caught up with basically everything.
    Tweeting is like my main leeway to all of my emotional needs right now because it's immediate and hence most effective.

    Recently, I've been so annoyed with so many things.
    Sometimes I wonder why I'm so unlucky, why all these things are constantly bombarding me.
    I feel like I'm suffocating, I'm drowning and I wonder how long more I can still stand up and say,"I'm fine."

    Hey, I'm not in the phase which I've been through a few months before.
    It's just that, it's just that... It's totally a new, different phase right now.
    New phase with new kinds of emotional distress.

    I wonder how long can everything last.
    I wonder how long I can stand bravely and tell everyone that, "I, have a dream."


    7:28:00 AM


    I guess I really haven't been blogging my life out right?
    I've been so caught up with basically everything.
    Tweeting is like my main leeway to all of my emotional needs right now because it's immediate and hence most effective.
     
    Recently, I've been so annoyed with so many things.
    Sometimes I wonder why I'm so unlucky, why all these things are constantly bombarding me.
    I feel like I'm suffocating, I'm drowning and I wonder how long more I can still stand up and say,"I'm fine."
     
    Hey, I'm not in the phase which I've been through a few months before.
    It's just that, it's just that... It's totally a new, different phase right now.
    New phase with new kinds of emotional distress.

    I wonder how long can everything last.
    I wonder how long I can stand bravely and tell everyone that, "I, have a dream."


    12:54:00 AM

    Friday, November 06, 2009


    HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY BRO!!!

    During Biology class @ 4pm (when we were plotting graphs),
    Me: May I go to the toilet please?

    *rushes out*

    ...

    *takes out my phone and dial my house number*
    Dad (sleepily): Helloooo?

    Brighton: 4pm, SG: 12am.

    Me: Hello Daddy ar!

    Dad: Girl ar, what happened? Why are you calling at this time? So late already?

    Me: I want to wish Kor Kor happy birthday! Call him leh!

    Dad: He's sleeping.

    Me: Wake him up luh!

    Dad: You wait ar...

    ...

    Bro: Hello? (lethargically)

    Me: Ah Di happy birthday!!!

    Bro: Hello? Hello?

    Me: Ah Di can you here me a not! Kor kor ar!

    Bro: Hello?

    Me: Kor, Happy Birthday luh!

    Bro: Who are you ar?

    LOL AT THIS POINT, IN MY HEART, I WAS LIKE "WHAT THE HELL?!" HAHA

    Me: It's me luh! MEI MEI LUH!

    Bro: Orh why leh?

    Me: Happy Birthday luh! Ok BYE BYE!


    HAHAHAHAHA I BET EVERYONE WOULD FORGET THAT I CALLED AT 12AM WHEN THEY WAKE UP LATER!

    I shipped a parcel to my bro too.
    Don't think he has received it yet. I think most probably within the next couple of days?
    Wanted it to be a surprise cos' apparently everyone thinks that I've forgotten my brother's birthday!
    But how could I have forgotten?

    I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH. \)(/

    5:41:00 AM

    Thursday, November 05, 2009

    John called me!!!
    Omg talking to John now!
    Haha aw so pathetic cos we're like rushing for time!
    And we used to talk for hours and hours during midnight in SG and now, we're freaking out when it's 30mins already.

    $_$

    LOVE


    12:53:00 AM

    Friday, October 30, 2009

    Cambridge&London.

    Howdy! I'm back. Have been busy with so many tests each week and it's finally the mid term holidays which I've long anticipated, although it's just a miser of 5 days. :S
    Mann.
    So I went to cambridge and London.

    Oh God, I really suck. I haven't upload thousands of photos. No updates.
    All which I've been doing these days is to just tweet.
    Hahaha so go to my twitter page! 
    There's only a 10 pathetic plus latest updates which are shown in my blog so i you wana see more, click on the "follow me on twitter" link, just below the updates kay.

    I'm so lazy to blog what I did in Cambridge n London, so I'll just copy and paste my entire twitter page from the time I woke up on wed morning to now!
    HAHA see, i tweet my entire life out. that's why i like twitter so much more as compared to blogging.
    I'm not a twitter whore. So not.

    & FYI, if you wana read the tweets below in chronological order, you've to start reading from the ones right at the bottom, to the ones on top. HAHAHA. & my twitter clock/time is tuned to SG's time. GST 8. 

    Have fun reading! If you even bother to...

    HAHAHA love you guys!

    belindaong


    1. even told dad&bro tt i went 2 watch e arsenal match@ emirates stadium.dad thot i really went!JK of cos!i ve been ingestin breakfast since 11
    2. so i duno how much i spent but i know its a lot n i dared nt even dare to go check. doubt it 500 srsrly. i think.
    3. haha when i skype w my fam jus now, mum asked if i spent 500pounds when i went to cambridge&london cos i told her i ve been use e debit card
    4. @alibalatong hey jess can u @reply me. i wana see if i can receive it by sms! tq!
    5. "我不想被你牵着走。But if I give it up, I'd lose my mind."
    6. just organised the twitter lists thingy~
    7. finally noe how to manage my updates via sms settings.Am receiving tweets thru sms now. Can conserve hp batt by reducin use of ubbertwitter
    8. I'm thinking of bathing then going out to settle some stuff. Hmm
    9. Jus made myself instant breakfast. Campbell chicken soup. M&S porridge. Milo.
    10. Completely lazed in bed for the past couple of hours. How unproductive. Haha
    11. Omg I'm still in a state of shock bout last night thingy. Geez.
    12. Just left a voicemail for ka to tell her tt I dun feel like goin to seven sisters today. Too tired to go climbing. Z_Z
    13. @kakabobo haha I don't understand you at all! And you joined twitter and facebook!
    14. Haha e security guards were really funny when dey came bk too.
    15. Just went down to get my id.we were sittin on e floor waiting for e security guards who went for patrol.played childhood games!
    16. Ordered a chinese restaurant delivery set for two pple for £26 w momoe. Food was so delicious! Den talked to arnanti in my rm till so late.
    17. Freezing
    18. Wanted to tweet HOME SWEET HOME when I drop my ep1 lenses. Wtf
    19. Need to pee. Shh shh...
    20. On the gatwick express. It looks more classy. Haha. Think it s faster. It will go bk to brighton after goin to e airport. Hungry n tired!
    21. I'm so sleepy!
    22. @ e london eye.but nt sittin it alr cos e queue s so long. besides sg flyer is taller ha.hair is purplish red.Left w big ben n london bridge
    23. Bought I <3>
    24. Just went to the national art gallery. Going to buckingham palace now yay
    25. Msn-ing with yueli! :P
    26. I'm gona punch e bloody assistant is she screws up. V angry. Lack of sleep la
    27. My head is fucking burning la
    28. I'm feeling e pinch now
    29. Doing hairrrrrrr Z_Z
    30. London cabbing again XS
    31. Iove e autumn leaves! Finding our way to chinatown. Ka just stepped on dog shit. Lol
    32. Hyde park!
    33. Lol reg said I was sleep talkin ytd while I was dreamin bout ghost. Slept in b/w ka n reg. Hehe. Exploring london todaeeeeee XD
    34. Lol reg said I was sleep talkin ytd while I was dreamin bout ghost. Slept in b/w ka n reg. Hehe. Xllondon todaeeeeee XD
    35. Ohaiyo!
    36. In e hotel. Ate super ex steak. £17!
    37. Some people r just gross n weird right?
    38. @dradramama I left alr! U didn't tell me! N good luck for econs XD
    39. RT @allkpop: Kim Bum in London http://bit.ly/27WiM omg maybe I ll get to see him! XD
    40. @Jerlynn haha I ve no idea where tt is. I'm gonna leave tom. Haha geez maybe I ll meet along e streets randomly haha
    41. Done w cambridge! Gonna take train to london now. Bought one of the Cambridge university sweater hehe :]
    42. On the boat along the river. View is splendid!http://pic.gd/ec0ebd
    43. In a chinese restaurant. Lunching
    44. Autumn leaves! http://pic.gd/5b44a9
    45. At Cambridge alr. Slept. Yawns
    46. Saw e emirates stadium. Arsenal!
    47. @Jerlynn yep! Haha the place where I'm stayin is near king s cross station I think.u? Haha yucks school!
    48. Takin e train to cambridge now. I'm so sleepy!
    49. Isn't king s cross station e one in harry potter? Gona go find tt platform
    50. In the cab to king's cross station to take e train to cambridge!
    51. At london victoria station!
    52. On e train now. Its moving lol! Omg lyk suaku lyk tt
    53. Haha we re supposed to meet e rest at nine. And we re gonna b late geez. Lalala
    54. Off to e train station! Haha I'm switchin off all my bb apps so as to conserve batt cos Im chargin it lyk twice/thrice a day. So excited! XD
    55. Just called john to say that I'm leaving today hehe. Talked to jo for a while too. Gah I'm still packing. Hope my bb is fuLl charged b4 I go
    56. GET OUT OF BED BO!

    10:43:00 PM

    Tuesday, October 20, 2009

    SURPISE!!!
    I did a nice thing yesterday.

    I called people in the middle of the night (singapore time), about 4am plus?
    So those who were lucky, or unlucky cos' i woke them up as their phones are not switched off, they get to answer and thought that it was a dream.

    LOL.
    Those who were sleeping like a pig, too bad.
    HAHA.

    Those who actually thought voicemails weren't of any used, managed to listen to a crappy surprise message which I left behind.

    Those who were pathetic to leave their phone switched off slept through all the way undisturbed, not knowing that BO was actually missing them.

    AW what a sweet thing I did.
    *smugs*

    9:40:00 PM

    Sunday, October 18, 2009

    Another weekend is gonna be over and I still haven't replied everyone's emails, send out emails regarding my contact details, update my blog and facebook with loads n loads of photos.

    That's procrastinating for you.

    Pathetic as it can be.
    Somebody slap me in my face.

    11:02:00 PM